Lets go to Paris and have a hamburger.
Because that's the "man" thing to do.

"Run with my heart like a kleptomaniac. Keep it in the trunk, in a brown paper sack"


Sooooooo Lets seeeeee....

Getting a car in two weeks fo sho! I have about 700 saved up (maybe its 800?) and I get paid tomorrow and should be saving about 100 at least from that check.. Then the next check I get an extra 300 because the store did well...

*does some math*

Yeah, I will totally have enough.

Asia told me she fixed everything, she is going to clean it out now and we will totally be good... I can't wait!!

Also I am going to buy a GPS thing for it.... I have a lot of trips planned... Louisiana, Fort Smith, Dallas, and possibly NC again.

First trip MIGHT get to be going to the convention... I am not sure if they are going to give me that day off... = [

If not then it will be to see a concert in fort smith.. I totally plan on finally seeing a freaking concert already.

SPEAKING of that!

She's The Antagonist is coming to DeQueen and we are going to have him play at the park... Keith was totally cool with the idea.. I am thinking we can get everyone and their acoustic guitars and just all play and have a blast... I can't wait.. Thats going down June 4th.

Yes, there will be footage of it.

"Good times for a change... See the luck I've had could make a good man turn bad..."

Such an amazing song.

What was I saying?.. Oh..

So random tidbits, I got a suit from Amy.. Its a pretty sexy little suit! 5 bucks.. ^.^ I love thrifty things.

I picked up my little brother.. On my way over I was called by Kenya's and asked where the heck I was.. I didn't know I had to work... So... yeah...

I showed up just long enough to have everyone bail on me and clean til 11... That was awesome.

Got some rest, and getting ready for tonights meeting.

Daniel IS showing up tonight.. Tres awesome.

OH and as far as Mormon's go and not believing in black people having a soul.. That bugged me.. I don't like misinterpretations of things anymore and want to get down to the very bottom of it all... So I looked into it.

They simply  believe African Americans were descendants of Cain, after Cain killed Able.. Because of him getting some kind of mark...

Which I believe when I let Chance know about that he said something about Noah being the one everyone is descended from now.. After the flood and all...

But back on point... Mormons are totally cool with other races! ^.^

Ignorant people really screw things up....

There's no cotton in heaven!!
"Fingertips have memories, mine can't forget the curves of your body"

So I just got home after my meeting... I have been out for three hours now!!!

They decided they wanted to go out and eat and asked if I could come along. Totally.


We were crammed into the pizza place with all the other church people... : P Few catholics here, couple of baptists there... Twas busy!

We stayed for three hours just talking and making really, really, really bad jokes...

Shannon (my awesome black twin) was talking about how the Mormons feel that black people were mistakes and how they had black Mormons....

"There's no cotton for them to pick in heaven!! Why would they do that?!?"

Probably the most racist/amazing/great joke I heard all day....

...Blah, lots to say, but really tired....

Seven of us went out to eat, had an amazing time, shared some great stories, went home..

Going to a "reenie roast" next Sunday! .. Unless we decide on something else to eat...

*big nod*

Oh and one of my friends (Daniel) has been doing bible study with Brandon......

Brandon said they had a good talk... I am bringing him to the hall this Tuesday (I think)..



Im not insulting you... Im fun-sulting you!!
"Blistering Pree, all smiling and swollen.. makes babies to breathe with their hearts hanging open"

So a random guy I know and I were talking... We started insulting each other on our terrible facial hair and other such useless topics..

Then we started making fun of old insults we made with other people...

Him-  "You know... its fun to insult people.. It makes me happy!! Like.. Hinsults!"
Me- "No that just sounds terrible!"
Him- "Finsults?"
Me- "No... how about... Fun-sults!" 
Him- "Its not an insult.. its a fun-sult!!"

Now when he see's me he tells me some terrible insult and yells "FUN-SULT!!"

Totally takes the sting out of things.. ^.^


So I talked to one of our managers last night for freaking ever... Spoke about how terrible some of the MGMT was and how I was not trying to GET FIRED... But just... Push them and see how far we could go..

I told her I only do things as long as they are in a good just cause...

She pretty much agreed with everything I said.. I think she likes me a little more as a person now because whenever she see's me we walk together and talk a little bit.

No one really knows how connected I am with the customers.. Well most Mgmt don't know.. But last night was a good night!! While we talked I kept having all of these people I knew come in and I would do different things for them and explain to her "I dont know this person.. But we have this running joke..."

Had the mexican guys call me McLovin'
Had the chick I always promise I am trying to learn how to do a backflip for
Had the old guy that I raise my fist up and go "black power" to (he does it back)
Had Al... (He is just a cool old guy.. I know most of his life story)
Had the nazi girl (Now that my hair is shorter she tells me I am not Jewish anymore.) (she planned on killing me!)

And a few others...

*shrugs* I like these people.. I kind of like my job...

I fun-sulted management for a good little while.. That was one of the best parts because when I hit on a certain person she got this little smile on her face... one of those "ohhhhh yeah I know what your talking about" kinds!!!

Meh, all and all it was a good night... Ended it with a girl coming in waiting for a ride.. It was kind of awkward because we didnt talk to eachother.. But eventually I started talking a little more with her and we started kidding around about how awesome my job was. :P

I like when you can break the ice with someone new and everything goes smooth.... It makes me feel as though I accomplished something.

Rain pattering like a heartbeat and the smell of dirt on wet concrete.
"I wish to use my body as a torch, I wish to use my body as a guide."

Alright, so I need some sleep... But noooooooooo I feel like rambling to no one for reasons I can't explain!!

Good idea, no?


So, do you ever have those moments where you notice how massive the world is around you? How much space is truly out there in space? How fluent life truly is?

Imagine being able to see everything.. With one glance you could see the entire galaxy, all the planets, stars, suns, whatever..

Now think about how tiny you really are.


And no, not like "dude... AWESOME!"

1. Inspiring awe
2. Expressing awe

That word has been worn down so much by how its used.. I don't think it captivates the feelings it honestly should anymore... Blah.

I take blame for it though.. ^.^

Love is another one of those words that has been worn down.... That makes me pretty upset...

Why is it people have stopped caring? Slowly things are getting a lot worse.. Poetry and Art use to be major staples in everyday life..

People can barely see anything more than themselves... And tell me how I am wrong, tell me how I am the stupid one just because they cant understand what I am trying to say to them...

Throw me down, drag me around, shove me into the wall.. Stare at me, make stupid jokes about how I don't make sense, insult me to get a laugh from their friends..

You know, all of this has happened within two weeks.

....I have started to just be quiet and go on about what I do...

I found I don't like most of my friends. That was an interesting discovery...

At work I try to be alone for my breaks... I don't enjoy the company of that many people anymore unless its in small doses..

One of my friends came over and started talking to me... All that she can ever think about is sex and how her views are probably more right than anyone elses....

Her- "In your religion can people have pre-marital sex?"

Me- "No, of course not!"

Her- "Well that's stupid, I don't think they are right."

Me- "You don't think THEY are right?! Have you EVER seen a religion that was cool with it?!!?"


I didn't really want to head into this part.. but might as well start work on religious thoughts while I ramble..

Just to get them out.

Why is it that I am going to hell because I don't think Jesus is God?... How does this make sense?

Is God up there saying to himself "look, I totally was Jesus and if  they don't praise both me and ME as Jesus AND God then I am going to burn those little guys!!!"

....That just totally makes sense right there....

I was told the only way to go to heaven was if I accepted that Jesus was God.. I can do anything I want to as long as I humbly repent afterward and mean it... Then I go to heaven..

Otherwise I burn in hell forever.... Then I come back for judgment day to be judged (but I thought I was already judged and sent to hell?) and then I go back to hell for sucking...

Yep, I spent 2 hours talking to a HARDCORE baptist about religion and this is what I was told....

When I told him it makes no sense he told me that gods ways are just to hard for us to grasp... We just need to get new hearts in order to accept the true fate...

(We need cold and hard hearts in order to accept that everyone we know will burn in hell forever..)

Do you know how stupid that sounds?.. How completely terrible that is? How praising some kind of god that just says "hey guess what? Everyone is burning in hell except for you select few in America because you guys gotsa bible!! Yay you!!"

......Really now?.....

What was that called?.. Sovereign grace?

It was basically just described that WE are the lucky ones.. No one else.. Everyone dies, everyone gets tormented... I just can't understand we need it because I view people as good things still..

Yeah, I do view people as good.

There is no way you can look me in the eyes and tell me that some child is going to burn in hell because they lived in a 3rd world country and had a wicked heart...

Why don't you go shove off?

It honestly disgusted me to find out how baptists believed once I started looking into it...

It upsets me how most of them don't even know what they believe... Oh my gosh, you explain the holy trinity to some of them and they just start going off about how you are mentally retarded and they don't believe anything like that!!!!!!

By far my favorite quote:
Me - "Your baptist right? So you believe in the holy trinity? You believe Jesus is God?"

Him - "No!! Thats stupid! Is that some kind of crazy witness belief???"

Me - "Omg... Look, lets sit down and I can explain to you what YOU believe in"


Again, people are... just... wow...

I could ramble MUCH longer on this topic... But I finally just got hit with a wave of tired..

I love when I hear a smile in your voice
"A product of the mind, not merely twisted, but actually sprained" ~ Douglas Adams

I have a drawer full of nothing but random poetry lines and ideas I want to work with... This would be a nice place to stick them instead!


To know your only true enemy you need to know yourself.

The sound of silence pesters my ears.

So why try to understand me, we will all cease to be.. I never write nothing new, just what we all knew.

Every solid beginning deserves a broken start. Hollow out my mind by consuming my heart.

The wounds of hate can be stitched with love, but always leave scars of life.

My mind feels like glass, cracked and shattered from its past.

Life has never felt so cold, every mellow brings low. Thoughts remembered, pain reprise, keep your wallows bathed in lies.

A frown sets your ambiance, but a smile shows your light.

I hate what we've become, I hate what we do.. I hate that I don't care enough to even hate you.

His teeth coy, his tongue sly.


Now the more "full" works I have.
(Songs & Poems)


Dirt on my mind and gum on my shoes
I drive blind but I have nothing to lose
Drink gasoline to watch my body burn
Hearts on fire with no passion to yearn

Run, run, run, run fast as you can
Life's worth living, but mine ain't worth a damn
Fear, fear, fear, fear all that you are
- - - - -

Broken wings, sunken eyes
all I fell is deep despise
Oh! heartless place, worthless prize
come and burn my dreaded lies

Monster, your a monster
Monster, your a monster

Maime yourself, repress your health
don't stop pain, reach the vein
Seizure-fit, crimson slit
You'll have fun when its done

Monster, your a monster
Monster, your a monster

Fear this place, empty space
Lifeless hum, feeling numb
Spiteful thoughts, as my body rots
time bleeds on, until you forget im gone

Monster, your the monster
Monster, I'm a monster

- - - - - - -

You've taken your awkward steps and scraped your nubby knees
Settle down, not so fast, do you think you can do as you please?
I know your sick, I know its cold
Your bones are brittle and thoughts are prone
Let me rock you, us alone
When you look back I hope you feel at home

Hush little baby, don't you cry
(random lines that simply suck go here)

- - - - - - -

you try to sustain your posture
Your gait has become a stagger
you view yourself as a monster
Imprisoned with age to watch all the worlds swagger

Our time is done, our chapters closed
We bathed in the autumn of our years
All the faces you give now are posed
Try not to worry of your many fears

I'm finding perfections through imperfections
A flaw in our diamond cant be found
Epiphany of what matters, no more corrections
Intertwined heart-beats being our only sound

I wont let you down
I wont let you down

I wont let you down
I wont let you down

You no longer sustain and can only falter
Short breathes you take stab like a dagger
Your minds almost gone, nearing a merry saunter
Soul full of lust, watching as they all swagger

My time is done, my book is closed
I bathed in the autumn and finished in the fall
Your face ceases to even hold a pose
fears take over as no one hears your calls

Find perfections through your imperfections
Never a flaw, but the diamond cant be found
Epiphany of what matters, no more corrections
Flickering heart-beats being your only sound

I wont let you down
Because I wont be around

I wont let you down
Because I wont be around...


Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo let me just point out... I'm honestly not emo!!!!!!!!! How all of that came from me I have no idea!

I had some random tid-bits to say.. I just don't remember everything.

I happen to be missing two poems I distinctly remember writing....

One was a villanelle about a writer who committed suicide by walking into the river with her pockets full of rocks to keep her down.

The other was just about how my minds transitioned from a young innocent state into the one its in now....

Also I am (or was) working on a poem idea:

Imagine your heart bursting inside of your chest... The emotions like fragments of glass going everywhere inside of you... A close friend see's the problem and opens you up, takes a look inside... Reaches inside of you to fix you... But when they pull their hands out they have pieces of your emotions stuck in their arm.. The relationship grows closer and quite possibly, you fall in love.

Or I could go with the sad version.. They pluck out the pieces and resent you for making your problems theirs.

: P

I like the happier ending.

First Entries are always boring
So.... This is awesome!

Lets just upload an amazingly awesome song I heard today... I get it stuck in my already.. Its so sweet.


That girl has one amazing voice.

Wait can we embed stuff on here?

Lets try!!

<object width="660" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xBnh0hFQITw&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xBnh0hFQITw&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="660" height="405"></embed></object>

Well... Lets see what happens.... *post*


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